there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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