they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize