dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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