I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
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The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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