one two three fourrrrnication!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize