i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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