I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
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She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
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I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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