I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
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You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
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My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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