one might say we're banned from that church
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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