Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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