She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize