I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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