I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
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He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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