why didn't you poke me back
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize