So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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