im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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