at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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