Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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