we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i out mim tonsoeep
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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