How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize