remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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