He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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