I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize