A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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