i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
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How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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