I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If I die, sorry about rent.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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