yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize