so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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