My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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