There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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