i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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