im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize