she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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