Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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