Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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