i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
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She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think a kid would responsible me up
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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