I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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