I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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