you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
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Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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