she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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