Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.

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  (917): I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer. http://tfl.nu/px5x
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.

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  (702): Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks. http://tfl.nu/8gmt
  Replies (40) Good night (770) Bad night (3392) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Is my tampon string too long for this dress?

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  (709): Is my tampon string too long for this dress? http://tfl.nu/pjcs
  Replies (54) Good night (925) Bad night (6426) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile

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  (410): As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie. (443): im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile http://tfl.nu/7kar
  Replies (31) Good night (2143) Bad night (5250)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.

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  (480): Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start. http://tfl.nu/ri6j
  Replies (6) Good night (2479) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..

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  (734): Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night.. http://tfl.nu/1tnp
  Replies (6) Good night (2732) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (+55): View more from

  Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.

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  (+55): Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic. http://tfl.nu/vqq6
  Replies (7) Good night (1263) Bad night (500)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes

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  (902): Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes http://tfl.nu/0c3w
  Replies (4) Good night (1055) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"

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  (480): Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good" http://tfl.nu/cw6w
  Replies (6) Good night (1166) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door

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  (561): There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door http://tfl.nu/csf9
  Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.

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  (401): He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate. http://tfl.nu/dyap
  Replies (1) Good night (648) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness

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  (617): I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness http://tfl.nu/3h8d
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore

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  (787): Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore http://tfl.nu/sv88
  Replies (3) Good night (482) Bad night (152) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.

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  (870): So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub. http://tfl.nu/l7si
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.

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  (413): Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days. http://tfl.nu/0sic
  Replies (7) Good night (545) Bad night (418)

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