It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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