We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize