I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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