The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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