I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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