his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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