U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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