It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
