shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Shame - the story of my life.
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