I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize